Side Effects

When I came-to, I was on the floor in the atrium at church surrounded by people. As my hearing slowly faded in, I heard a kid ask, "Did you die?" No, kid; I fainted.

Talk Talk Talk

I used to think adults were joking around when they couldn't remember, on demand, how old they were. That is, until my church's women's retreat this weekend.

Those Dangerous Green Eyes

There's this awesome moment in Acts when, although people are cautious about joining the Way because it is evident the Spirit knew each person's motives, "more and more men and women believed in the Lord and were added to their number." And crowds kept gathering to be healed, and Peter was so filled with the Spirit and His power that even his shadow was healing people. His shadow.

Now the religious leaders had a couple choices, among them the choice to believe this new life that Paul and the other believers testified about through words and power. But in order to believe this new life that Paul preached they would have to believe that Jesus rose from the dead-- and the Sadducees don't believe in the resurrection of the dead. 

And they aren't about to change that.

These Aren't My Words

If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that theyobey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips! If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless. Death and life are in the power of the tongue.

Fruit Growers

I tried to grow a strawberry plant over the summer. It took a long time, and lots of weeding and watering and pruning, but eventually it sprouted a few exciting berries! The squirrels may or may not have gotten to them before me, but that's beside the point.

My Short-Lived Career as a Fortune Teller

Back in High School, I was adamant that I would not be a teacher- not if it was the last job on earth.

When I was younger, somewhere in middle school, I didn't want to go to the doctor because I was sure the pain in my feet was normal, and other people were just better at dealing with it.

All through High School and college I was sure sure I'd never beat my dad at Boggle.

Just today, I was confident that school wouldn't be called off.

Hide and Seek

We used to play hide-and-seek-in-the-dark with the whole family, nowhere in the house taken off limits. We found some fantastic hiding places-- like when my dad stashed my youngest sister into the space between the top of the cabinets and the ceiling. Or hiding the trash  can somewhere else, and tucking oneself into that cabinet it belonged in. Or just standing so flat and so still between a wall and a door. Or behind a dresser that had just enough space behind it. Or under a bunk bed, pulling everything back into place under the bed behind oneself, careful to breathe quietly.

It sometimes took quite a long time to find each other. On occasion, we've even given up looking, and the hider came out when we all had our eyes closed, and they got to keep that hiding place.

Sometimes, like Adam, we hide from God. (Gen 3:8-10). Perhaps, like Adam and Eve, we hide out of shame, or perhaps there are other reasons. But God loves us and comes lovingly looking for us. And there's no where we can hide that He won't be right there with us. It's like God doesn't understand how hide-and-seek works... how you're supposed to let the little kids think they've got a fantastic spot and wait for them to pop out and scare you.

"Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you." (Psalm 139:7-12). 

But, do you know what I consider more wonderful than God always finding us? When we seek God, we'll always find Him. God, who created the whole universe, probably knows some pretty epic hiding places. But he doesn't use them. His goal isn't to be undiscovered, as in our little game, but to be found.

"You will seek me and you will find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the LORD." Jeremiah 29:13-14a.

And God decided that just being found by us wasn't enough. He ruined his best hiding places. He came right to us, right into this world, right into our hearts.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

"Very Good"

It's hard enough for me to understand that the very creator of the universe, the most perfect and holy being, God Himself, would forgive us of our sins, that he would make a plan to allow us to continue in blessed relationship with Him, but that's not even the extent of God's mercy. 

Not only does God forgive, He redeems. 

He takes what is broken, messed up, and torn, and He makes it into something good. 

"As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good," (Genesis 50:20a) ESV

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28) ESV

After all, God created all the earth and everything in it and surrounding it out of nothing. It would be no small task for Him, King of Kings and Lord of lords, to take something evil, to take a sinful past, to take that which is wrong, and make it, somehow and divinely, into something good. Not only good, but very good.


Connected Quote? How about this one?

An Elijah Complex

Christians who feel like they are all alone in their convictions or their devoutness to God have the Elijah Complex. I've had it before-- and maybe you have, too. Or perhaps, ironically, I am all alone in this.

This Elijah Complex, this sense that you are unique in your level of commitment or concern, is not healthy for the body or for the soul. It leads to discouragement, a mixture of depression and despair, and complaints to others and to God.

Elijah had thought he was alone, too. He complained to God about it: "I've been so devoted to you, God! " I'm paraphrasing. " But these people, they threw you away, and killed everyone who stood up for you. Now there's only me and they're out to get me, too" (1 Kings 19:14/ Romans 11:3). God wasn't too impressed.

Not only is this complex unhealthy, it is a lie.
Sorry: you're not as alone as you feared/hoped.

Take a God-eye view of your situation and realize you are not alone, and be encouraged that God has preserved others, somewhere. In Elijah's time, God had preserved 7,000 others who had stayed devoted. The knowledge that you are not alone, that God has preserved others, even if you never see or meet them, and that he will in fact preserve you, too, leads to determination and endurance.

So don't give up. Listen to God's gentle whisper, and endure with confidence.

Simplicity

The simple life has its roots in obedience.

Our lives-- at least, my life -- gets chaotic when we pile up clutter. Too many things to do, think about, and fix. Too many irons in the fire, not enough focus. And a lack of obedience to God.

I've posted about obeying immediately, completely, and without complaint before, and I want to take it a step farther because I'm learning that obedience simplifies life.

I tend to try to think things through before I act on what God seems to be telling me to do. I try to think it through, to figure it out, even talk God out of asking me to do something so out of my comfort zone. Some of the time I do obey, and some of the time I miss the opportunity.

This summer I heard a sermon on Luke 17:1-19. This section is divided into four, and I usually read it as such. But this pastor connected the dots, contrasting the disciples with some lepers. See, Jesus tells the disciples to rebuke the brother that sins, forgive the brother that repents, and continue forgiving even if they keep sinning. Their response? "Increase our faith!" or, "I don't know if I can do that!". But when Jesus tells the 10 lepers to go show themselves to the priests, they go. And they still had leprosy when they went. But Jesus told them to do something, so they obeyed, even though it didn't look like it'd work. Yet as they went-- as they obeyed-- they were healed.

Our response to a command from God ought not be to theorize, to justify, to consider how to apply, to marvel at the impossibility of it, but to obey. Anything short of, "Yes, Lord," followed by obedience is disobedience.

And to determine for yourself that you have no alternative to obeying God's commands makes your life incredibly simpler because you know exactly what you're going to do. You don't have to come to each command and determine how exactly and to what extent you're going to obey, you just obey.

Now obeying God sometimes doesn't look like it'll work, or like it's worth it. I'm sure it's going to be difficult in the coming days and years, and many things won't make sense, but I'm determining to obey-- with God's help.

And you know what else? Not only does obedience simplify, it frees. I've heard it before, and experienced it, but I'm looking forward to living it.

Spiritual Growth

Take a look at Moses in Exodus 3: 6

And he said, "I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob." And Moses hid his face, for he was afraid to look at God.

and 3:12-13

Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak." But he said, "Oh, my Lord, please send someone else."

Now look at Exodus 33:15, 18

And he said to him, "If your presence will not go with me, do not bring us up from here"... Moses said, "Please show me your glory."

And be inspired.

Vain Repetitions

Back in high school I had to get this blood test where, over a few hours, the nurses drew samples of blood. In between the pokes-and-sticks I had to sit in the waiting room, with not much to do besides think about it. My mom was there and we played some card games while we waited, but all the while I was distracted by the upcoming punctures.

To try to get my mind off the inevitable, I recited to myself a verse I had picked out that morning. Over and over I recited it, trying to calm myself. My mom wasn't too eager about the verse I'd picked-- she thought it would have been better for me to pick something more... positive. But to this day I can still recite it: "He is not afraid of bad news, his heart is firm trusting in the Lord. His heart is steady, he will not be afraid," Psalm 112:7-8a. (Perhaps she was right.)

I'm not sure how much it helped. Yes, it gave me something to focus on besides the repeated tests, but, if I remember rightly, I was still pretty nervous and, well, 'afraid of bad news'. I tried reciting the verse to help me pretend this scary thing wasn't really happening at all.

So, when I had to get two cavities filled yesterday-- novacaine included-- and I started getting nervous, I picked another verse to memorize and recite to myself. This time it was Romans 1:16. I know think it starts, "For I am not ashamed of the gospel for it is the ___ of God..." but I never quite got around to finishing it.

See, before they gave me that dreaded shot, the nurse said something. It probably wouldn't have meant anything to you, just as she probably had no idea it would mean so much to me, so I'll keep that part a secret. Suffice it to say, she said 'something' that reminded me that God loves me, cares for me, and is right there with me.

And suddenly my desire to memorize and recite Romans 1:16 to help me through the moment dissolved. *poof*: gone. Suddenly, I just wanted to talk to God. The doctor and nurse left for a moment to let the numbing medicine settle, and I was left in the room with a big smile on my half- numbed face, looking out the window and praising God. And suddenly I wasn't as concerned about the whole process. I admit it, I was still a little nervous, especially when they had to give me another shot for the second filling, but immediately I ran to Yahweh and found rest.

I'd been trying to get away with turning to God's word rather than God himself. It reminds me a bit of Jeremiah 2:12-13, "Be appalled, O heavens, at this; be shocked, be utterly desolate, declares the LORD, for my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold not water."

We don't need to use supplements when we can go straight to God.

Why I Love Thunderstorms:

Photo of lightening over Magician Lake, in MI. Taken by Ruth Irons

In his old age, king David reflected on how God had rescued him time and time again, and he used the imagery of a thunderstorm to try to explain how God heard his prayers and came to save him, stopping at nothing.

 There are so many things I appreciate about this poem (while the whole passage is a favorite, I underlined parts that stick out to me), but I particularly appreciate how, now, every thunderstorm I experience is a reminder of God's concern, power, and determination to rescue me (us).

It's recorded both in 2 Samuel and in Psalms (with slight variations).
Below is the one from 2 Samuel. It's chapter 22 and verses 7-20 to be precise.

In my distress I called upon the LORD;

to my God I called. 

From his temple he heard my voice, 

and my cry came to his ears. 

Then the earth reeled and rocked;

the foundations of the heavens trembled

and quaked, because he was angry. 

Smoke went up from his nostrils, 

and devouring fire from his mouth;

glowing coals flamed forth from him. 

He bowed the heavens and came down;

thick darkness was under his feet. 

He rode on a cherub and flew;

he was seen on the wings of the wind. 

He made darkness around him his canopy, 

thick clouds, a gathering of water. 

Out of the brightness before him

coals of fire flamed forth. 

The LORD thundered from heaven,

and the Most High uttered his voice. 

And he sent out arrows and scattered them;

lightning, and routed them.

Then the channels of the sea were seen;

the foundations of the world were laid bare,

at the rebuke of the LORD, 

at the blast of the breath of his nostrils. 

He sent from on high, he took me;

he drew me out of many waters.

He rescued me from my strong enemy,

from those who hated me, 

for they were too mighty for me.

They confronted me in the day of my calamity,

but the LORD was my support.

He brought me out into a broad place;

he rescued me, because he delighted in me. 

On Poisonous Lotion

Back in December, one of the gifts I received from a student was a wonderful orange-ginger lotion.

I would use it every once in a while, and I would notice a red, itchy patch on my hands. But it wasn't too irritating, and I wasn't certain they were connected, so I ignored it. After applying it, I would absently scratch the red spot, too busy to take any real notice.

Finally I read the ingredients. And what do you know? Buried in the list of sweet smells, nourishing aloe juices and other goodies was some sort of hydrated milk protein.

And I'm allergic to milk. No wonder I had red, itchy spots.

I did not apply it again once I realized what it really was: poison to me.

Thankfully, there was an easy solution: I got rid of the poisonous lotion (it has a happy new home with my mom - who is NOT allergic to milk)

***

Sins tend to sneak up on me the same way.

Maybe it was a gift- a good intentioned gift. Maybe it was just packaged nicely.
Maybe I'm too busy to notice what happening.

Maybe I decide it can't be that bad-- after all, there's only a little; it's not all poisonous.

But sooner or later the poisonous qualities show through. The side-effects.

Once you recognize the toxicity it has towards your relationship with God and others, don't foolishly keep living that way.

Get rid of the poison, whatever form it takes.

Even if you're the only one tossing it. 

Even if it's okay for others to keep it. 

Are YOU going to get rid of the 'poisonous lotion', or keep applying it?

And God Knew.

"And God heard their groaning, and God remembered his covenant with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob. God saw the people of Israel -- and God knew." Exodus 2:24-25

In the midst of Israel's slavery in Egypt, God heard their groaning. God saw them, and he knew what was going on.

And he already had a plan.

This verse is put in the story after Moses was born, after he was prince of Egypt, after he had murdered a man and fled, after he had married Zippora, and, even, after he had had a son.

No one IN the plan knew yet, including Moses himself, but God had positioned Moses.

He had a rescue plan in motion.


God hears your groaning. He sees you, whatever you're going through. And God knows.

Friend, do not despair. God knows.
And he's got a plan.

Take Solomon's Word For It

Have you ever received something worth more than gold and silver, without even asking for it? 

Proverbs claims that Wisdom is more valuable than gold.

Why so valuable? Proverbs (again.) promises that Wisdom will protect us (help us make good decisions) and honor us (help others make good decisions). And all it takes is being wise? 'Well', I thought. 'Sign me up for this!'

But, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, Wisdom is not one of those valuable things you are given, without even asking for it. 

It takes work. 

Solomon asked for Wisdom, and God gave it to him, yet even for him it wasn't that easy. 

God gave him Wisdom, but Ecclesiastes shows us that quite a lot of it came from experience. In Proverbs, our dear friend Solomon says you have to get it.

He doesn't say hope for Wisdom. 

He doesn't say ask for Wisdom. 

He doesn't say wait for Wisdom. 

Solomon advises us to get Wisdom. 

He tells us to be active about it, not passive.

You have to work for Wisdom. 

And then you have to work to keep her. 

Solomon tells us Wisdom will protect and watch over us-- if we do not forsake her and if we love her (Proverbs 4:6). She will exalt and honor us-- if we cherish and embrace her (Proverbs 4:8 emphasis mine)

These (not forsake, love, cherish, embrace) are things that take effort. 

I used to avoid hard work, inventing all sorts of excuses. But a couple of years ago I realized that hard work is rewarding. There is nothing quite like a satisfied exhaustion. When you know you worked hard and accomplished a lot and are very tired now, but you have confidence that your work was very purposeful. 

Working for Wisdom is like that-- hard work, but satisfying. 

You Just Can't Compare Them

One day, several years ago, I brought plain paper to the art museum. In the past I had been content gazing at the masterpieces, but today I was eager to capture them myself. I sat myself down on a bench in front of Degas' Ballet Dancers and just looking at it I knew I wouldn't sketch the whole thing. So I focused just on one dancer hoping to make the ballerina on my page a replica of the one Degas had immortalized in paint.

As you can see from the picture I dug out just for you, things didn't go so well. Sure, it's a ballerina, but it isn't even comparable to what inspired it. I couldn't find the exact painting, but this is one that would be similar.

What we humans do compared to what God does is similar to me trying to copy a great painter. Look at the contrast between these two verses:

"Then I considered all that my hands had done and the toil I had expended in doing it, and behold, all was vanity and a striving after wind, and there was nothing to be gained under the sun."

and

"And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good."

Now, it doesn't take an expert to realize that 'very good' and 'a striving after wind' are different.

God does things differently than we do, and although what he does may seem bizarre (for example 'instead of attacking that city, march around it without talking.') but I have to admit God's way ends up working while my way doesn't.

We've often got very different ideas about how to get the same result.

And from my experience, and hearing about the experiences of others, I'm going to trust God's way not my own.

Childlike Dependence

Us grown-ups are dependent on God. We just don't acknowledge it because we don't like to be reminded of what is out of our control, and our weaknesses.

We started out like dependent children (dependent on others for literally everything), but gradually we learned to do everything for ourselves, and it seems so pathetic, now, and weak to be dependent on anyone, even God. Paul saw that, too, when he realized God's power was "made perfect" in his weakness-- because then everything points to God.

Too often I find myself trying to live independent of God. And get this-- I get into the mindset that he wants me to. But as I read my Bible I realize he doesn't.

Nope: God wants us to acknowledge our dependence on him. He's the one who sends rain. He's the one who sends us blessings. He's the one that provides for us. And if you just take a moment to read about the life God wants us to lead, (1 Thessalonians 5:12-22, for example) you'll soon realize you can't.

You can't.

You just plain can't. But don't give up. That's the whole point. Paul even says so in the next verses (1 Thessalonians 5:23-24)!

Later, in his letter to the Galatians, Paul tells Christians that we can't be saved by our works (because our lives are never good enough), only by Jesus' love-sacrifice on the cross (because his life was).

Usually, Christians get that. But then, as they live life, they forget. The Galatians did this, too. Paul speaks pretty harshly to them "You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you?... Are you so foolish? After beginning by means of the Spirit, are you now trying to finish by means of the flesh?" (Galatians 3:1a, 3).

Once they became Christians by faith they started trying to live on their own means, not relying on the Spirit, on God.

The second graders come to me at lunch with water bottles, fruit cups and well-closed Tupperware. They just look up at me and hold out their food. So I stop my own eating, take up their problematic lunch portion and open it. Once, I asked one of the 'regulars' if she'd even tried to open her water bottle and she just looked up at me, almost amused, and her 'no' came out half-laugh. Now, I'm all for second graders learning to open their waters and tie their own shoes, but can you imagine if we came to God like that? Without first trying to solve the problems ourselves?

They are dependant. And they know it. 

"If you're happy dependent and you know it clap your hands pray to God. If you're dependent and you know it pray to God. If you're dependent and you know it then your prayers will surely show it, if you're dependent and you know it pray to God."

How Seven-Year-Olds Pray

It's a breathtaking, head-shaking wonder when students become teachers. Even more so when they don't even realize it.

Every two weeks a new student gets the 'job' of praying before snack, lunch and at the end of the day. I am blown away when I hear the prayers of these second graders, and I've begun to learn how childlike praying looks.

When they share prayer requests and praise reports in the morning, it often turns into plain-old sharing. There isn't really a request or a praise involved, if you know what I mean. And honestly, at first it bothered me. I wanted to get on with the business of praying. And then one day I had an epiphany-- all too often in my own prayer life I am trying to do business, and not sitting with God and sharing life with him, like these little children do.

A few of the students pray scripture. Let me tell you, your heart does a sort of flip-flop when it hears a seven year old say, "God, please help us today to not turn to the right or to the left. Help us stay focused on our schoolwork, and on you, and to be kind to each other." Wow. They may not know many scriptures, but they make use of the ones they know. What if us knowledgeable, capable grownups took the word of God more seriously, like these little children do, and believed it to the point of praying it over ourselves, our coworkers, our friends?

They pray over things so small they seem inconsequential, and then turn around and pray about things that seem insurmountable. Both are examples of huge faith. They are signs of the little children acknowledging their dependance on God, their trust he hears them through Jesus, and their confidence in his character. They realize nothing is too small for God, nor to big. The catch is, as seven-year-olds, they haven't learned to be independent like the rest of us. They know nothing but dependance, and their prayers show it.

And the beautiful thing is, even us grownups can learn to pray like Little Children again.

"Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:4 (read the story here)

What prayers have you heard Little Children pray that amazed you?

Coping

I love words. I like combining them to voice thoughts and ideas, finding words with just the right sounds to fit the mood of the topic. Words are meaningful because they impart meaning. These shapes and symbols we have given meaning, sound and purpose to evoke a message and bring images to our minds and spur us to more thoughts of our own.

Words impact me.  When I read words, strung together by an author with craft and intentionality, I pause  in admiration at the skill and the effectiveness in relaying the thought. I keep them nearby to be reminded how someone else phrased something. I have them on my walls, and in binders, and saved in documents. I collect words, and quotes.

Mostly the quotes are about the Christian life. "The brutal, soul-shaking truth is that we are so earthly minded we are of no heavenly use." Leonard Ravenhill.

A good chunk of those quotes are on prayer. "The great souls who became mighty in prayer, and rejoiced to spend three and four hours alone with God, were once beginners." Samuel Chadwick

Several speak about the way life is. "Any idiot can face a crisis. It's the day to day living that wears you out." Chekov

Some are just amusing. "Small choice in rotten apples." Shakespeare (The Taming of the Shrew)

A few are about words themselves. "To find your own writing style, you have to understand and love language. You have to read, listen to, and obsess over words, syllables, vowels, phrases, short and long sentences, the timing of periods, and endless other details." Becky Broadway & Doug Hesse

Words take time. Time to find, use and rearrange. Time to read and soak up. Time to record and remember. You can't slop them together and expect them to resonate the same way. And how unfeeling to gloss over all the hard work of others.

So I collect quotes. And I write.

But I found Philippians 3:8-9 this week, and I'm having trouble coping.

"Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For this sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness form God that depends on faith."

Now, what am I supposed to do with that?

Count everything -- even literacy-- as loss because it's more worthy to spend my time getting to know Christ Jesus my Lord? Surrender the time spent reading and writing and obsessing over words to the more worthy cause of gaining Christ and being found in him?

(It's true that I'd survive just fine without reading. It's also true that the world doesn't need another book. It already has over 22 million.)

God, give me grace, because I don't know if I'm ready.