I don't have a testimony.

I was raised by loving Christian parents in the suburbs. I accepted Jesus as my Savior when I was 6 years old. I went to summer church camp every year, I loved putting my quarter in the offering plate, and once I even wrote a letter to a neighbor friend telling her about Jesus.

I was fairly convinced I didn't have a testimony.

After all, as everyone knows, your testimony is when you tell a non-Christian what you were like before Jesus, how you met Jesus, and how your life has changed since then. At least, that's the impression I got.

And that may work for some people, but what if you're only six when you believe in your heart and confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and, because you've been trained in godliness for ever so long, things on the outside don't look that different. What then? And on top of it, what if you've never really had a rebellious spirit? What if, generally speaking, you've been faithful as long as you can remember?

Ah yes, what then.

Of course I could gush to non-Christians about how God has saved me and freed me from this sin or that thought process or those attitudes, but I don't quite think that's the end of it.

See, a testimony is when a witness shares their experiences. They don't tell their Life Story, they tell about their personal experiences related to the Question at Hand.

This week I've decided to change my personal definition of a Testimony. Maybe I don't have a 'traditionally' exciting testimony committing every sin Paul identifies and more, but I do have an exciting testimony. I've seen God come through countless times.

There was the time I lost my dorm key, and God continued to provide a way into the building (God provides).
There was the time I was still looking for a teaching job, mid September, and God provided the perfect opportunity for me (God is never too late).
There was the time I was struggling with resenting another person, and God brought me to the a passage in the Bible that challenged that attitude and helped restore the relationship (God cares; God knows; God transforms)
There was the time I only got four and a half hours of sleep (I don't know about you, but for me, is very little. I try to shoot for at least three more hours than that.), and God gave me stamina the next day at work, and kept me alert (God supplies all our needs).

And so on.

But do you know what else I realized? It's not just about telling non-Christians how God has revealed his character personally to you; we should also tell our Christian friends. What encouragement to hear how God is living and active in the lives of people you know!

So, yes, you do have a testimony. Maybe you have one about your initially being saved, but I certainly hope that wasn't the last time you saw God move in your life! Pray that God would open your eyes to how he is working.

And when you see it, tell someone.

On Poisonous Lotion

Back in December, one of the gifts I received from a student was a wonderful orange-ginger lotion.

I would use it every once in a while, and I would notice a red, itchy patch on my hands. But it wasn't too irritating, and I wasn't certain they were connected, so I ignored it. After applying it, I would absently scratch the red spot, too busy to take any real notice.

Finally I read the ingredients. And what do you know? Buried in the list of sweet smells, nourishing aloe juices and other goodies was some sort of hydrated milk protein.

And I'm allergic to milk. No wonder I had red, itchy spots.

I did not apply it again once I realized what it really was: poison to me.

Thankfully, there was an easy solution: I got rid of the poisonous lotion (it has a happy new home with my mom - who is NOT allergic to milk)

***

Sins tend to sneak up on me the same way.

Maybe it was a gift- a good intentioned gift. Maybe it was just packaged nicely.
Maybe I'm too busy to notice what happening.

Maybe I decide it can't be that bad-- after all, there's only a little; it's not all poisonous.

But sooner or later the poisonous qualities show through. The side-effects.

Once you recognize the toxicity it has towards your relationship with God and others, don't foolishly keep living that way.

Get rid of the poison, whatever form it takes.

Even if you're the only one tossing it. 

Even if it's okay for others to keep it. 

Are YOU going to get rid of the 'poisonous lotion', or keep applying it?

Shadow Watchers

The radio was telling me this week about those in New York who are upset about shadows. (read more here)

Developers are building very tall, and thin, skyscrapers, which are casting shadows on the public parks.

And while the shadows don't last very long, since the skyscrapers are so slender, some are concerned about what will happen to the plants and animals over time.

Good question.

God calls us to live without certain behaviors and attitudes in our lives. But maybe you think they aren't that big of a deal. They seem so small- so slim. Maybe you're rolling your eyes at the fuss everyone is making over this little shadow over your spiritual life.

Have you thought about the long-term effects as much as these irate citizens and park-goers? It may not seem like that big of a problem right now, but down the road of time they might cause quite a dilemma.

Maybe we should be a bit more concerned about the shadows in our lives.

Does This Job Make Me Look Fat?

Really, I'm convinced it does.

When I tell people about my job, and the different things I've done and grades I've subbed in and the responsibilities I've had, they usually respond with,

"That's good experience to have under you belt."

And I've grown a lot as a person and an educator since taking this job as a teacher's aide, and the experiences have been exceptional. I've just been storing them on paper and in my memory, not under my belt.

Do as I Say

Am I a hypocrite?

I expect the second graders to not fidget and listen with focus to lessons and read all the directions all the time.

I talk to them about their disrespectful, prideful acceptance of rewards, and remind them that it's an issue of the heart. I speak to the ones who seemed to receive their awards respectfully and humbly and suggested they spend some time talking with God and making sure they were not hiding pride in their hearts or thinking they received that award out of their own strength.

I talk about prayer, and how wonderful and important and potent it is and realize as I'm getting ready for bed that I hadn't kept God at the forefront of my day, and I hadn't asked him how I should serve or act, and I hadn't maintained a conversation with him.

I don't sit still when I listen.

I skip the directions.

I don't examine the pride in my own heart.

But, just like the second graders, I'm learning.


Let's not judge works in progress.

Every day.
Every day, he waits.
When the other second graders pack up their backpacks and put on their coats and wait impatiently to be picked up at the end of the day, he does, too.

Except most days, he doesn't get picked up right when school is out. Since his parents both work, he goes to the After Care program-- three or four of my students do. Maybe once a week this boy gets picked up right at the end of the day.

But every day, he puts his coat on and waits expectantly.

"Miss DeVries-- have you seen my dad yet?" He exclaims, a grin plastered on his face.
"No, but you'll be the first one I tell when I see him coming," I confide.

"Are you sure you haven't seen him yet?" He presses, after a few minutes.
"I'm sure."
"Okay," he says, some days he turns away saddened, but most days he bounces exuberantly back to his seat.

Every day he waits expectantly, prepared.

If it were me, I'd probably not put the coat on. We have heat in the building, after all, and it's got to get hot and stuffy sitting there wearing a winter coat for fifteen minutes or more.

And that's the problem. I tend to have that approach to my spiritual life, too.

Don't get tired of waiting on the Lord, brothers and sisters. Wait upon the Lord, even when it seems like he's not going to show up.

Because, I've got to tell you, the days I shake my head at him sadly and wonder when he'll give up-- those are the days his dad picks him up right at the end of the day, and that little boy's face lights up as he rushes out, calling 'Daddy! You came! I knew you'd come!".

Have confidence in our God, wait upon the Lord, and let yourself be delighted when he shows up.

And God Knew.

"And God heard their groaning, and God remembered his covenant with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob. God saw the people of Israel -- and God knew." Exodus 2:24-25

In the midst of Israel's slavery in Egypt, God heard their groaning. God saw them, and he knew what was going on.

And he already had a plan.

This verse is put in the story after Moses was born, after he was prince of Egypt, after he had murdered a man and fled, after he had married Zippora, and, even, after he had had a son.

No one IN the plan knew yet, including Moses himself, but God had positioned Moses.

He had a rescue plan in motion.


God hears your groaning. He sees you, whatever you're going through. And God knows.

Friend, do not despair. God knows.
And he's got a plan.

Neighbors and Vines

Romans 12 says to let brotherly love be genuine.
Well, that's easy enough with my friends, isn't it? When I love the people that are easy to love and who love me back...
But God didn't leave it at 'let love be genuine'.
Nope.
God said to love our neighbors. Not the person living next door, but the person-- whoever they are-- who needs forgiveness, or who needs mercy or help.

Well, that narrows it down, doesn't it?

We're supposed to love everyone, then. And we're supposed to love them genuinely.
And that means sacrificial love.
Sacrificial love for people who, in our flesh, we might not really like.
But they are God's children, whether they acknowledge it or not, and God loves them.
And we're supposed to be the extension of that love.


Which is a good thing. A really, really good thing.
Because I can't sacrificially, genuinely love my friends all the time, much less people I find hard to love.
"Good news?" you say. Yes, good news.

Because if I'm the extension, I'm not the source.

He is the vine, I am the branches.
God is the source of that love, and in order for me to sacrificially, genuinely love My Neighbor I need to be tapped into him. Sacrificial, genuine love isn't easy. It takes energy and effort. And an act of God, literally.

God showed us how much he loved us. He did not decide to play it safe and enjoy heaven but to come to earth and live life with us. And let us kill him. He died for us, and in so doing saved us from ourselves and our inadequacies.

God died for you.

God loves you.

And now God wants you to share that love with Your Neighbor.
To share it with anyone who needs forgiveness, mercy or help.

And the only way you can do that is by staying connected to the source of all forgiveness, mercy, help and love-- God himself.

Let love be genuine.