Rubbing Off

Every couple of weeks I assessed the reading abilities of my Kindergarteners. I called individuals to my desk and had each one read a set of five words with various special sounds we have been learning. Towards the end of the year, I called a student to my desk and as he came near he shook his head and half-whispered, “I just really don’t want to do this.”

I looked at him, frowning to hide my amusement, and asked, “Hmm, is that a good attitude?”

His eyes widened and he responded right away, “No—that was the Old Me. The New Me doesn’t complain.” And he went on to read all five words.

I was astonished at his response. Sure, our memory verse for the week had been 2 Corinthians 5:17. And sure, I had been teaching them about the Old Self and the New Self, and about how Christians can only live the New Self through Jesus. But I had not believed they were actually picking up on it. It’s amazing what happens, what the kids pick up on, when they listen. And, sometimes more amazing, they listen a lot more often than I realize. And things were catching on.

The question is, what else is rubbing off on them?

I Had Set Myself Up.

I had been recognizing some snippy responses and selfish attitudes in myself, and I was ready to be done with them, so I prescribed myself more verses to meditate on, more time alone with God, more passages to study.

I couldn't have set myself up better for the next day's devotional reading if I had tried.
Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest says:

"Can a sinner be turned into a saint? Can a twisted life be made right? There is only one appropriate answer-- "O Lord God, You know" (Ezekiel 37:3). Never forge ahead with your religious common sense and say, "Oh, yes, with just a little more Bible reading, devotional time, and prayer, I see how it can be done. 

It is much easier to do something than to trust in God...We would much rather work for God than believe in Him. Do I really believe that God will do in me what I cannot do?"

I have gotten caught up with my actions rather than staying focused on my relationship with God. The next day's reading said:

"Are you obsessed by something? You will probably say, "No, by nothing," but all of us are obsessed by something-- usually by ourselves, or, if we are Christians, by our own experience of the Christian life. But the psalmist says that we are to be obsessed by God. The abiding awareness of the Christian life is to be God Himself, not just thoughts about Him. The total being of our life inside and out is to be absolutely obsessed by the presence of God."

Being obsessed by thoughts about God doesn't seem to be that different than being obsessed by God himself, but that is why it is more dangerous. Either way, we are doing a lot of the same things, but the intentions-- the heart-- are different. And God looks at the heart.

Easter: When Murderers Go Free

There once was a group who rose up against the governing authorities in rebellion. There were many men involved in this uprising, trying to get control of their own little nation again. They murdered during this insurrection, killing heedlessly.

It didn't go so well for them- their uprising fell. And the survivors were imprisoned. One of these men was notorious among the prisoners, and probably not someone you would want back in society just yet.

His name was Barabbas.

The Crazy Things You Do For Love

There was this couple once who'd gone through some rough patches. (And, let's be honest, she was the problem.) They'd had their ups and downs, their break-ups and make-ups, but it didn't make sense for them to stay together anymore. Probably the wisest thing would have been for him to break up with her and forget her.

But he wouldn't.

He loved her, was kinda blinded by his love, and determined to stay with her. Even when she dumped him.

She became his self-proclaimed enemy.

These Aren't My Words

If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that theyobey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips! If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless. Death and life are in the power of the tongue.

Fruit Growers

I tried to grow a strawberry plant over the summer. It took a long time, and lots of weeding and watering and pruning, but eventually it sprouted a few exciting berries! The squirrels may or may not have gotten to them before me, but that's beside the point.

Hide and Seek

We used to play hide-and-seek-in-the-dark with the whole family, nowhere in the house taken off limits. We found some fantastic hiding places-- like when my dad stashed my youngest sister into the space between the top of the cabinets and the ceiling. Or hiding the trash  can somewhere else, and tucking oneself into that cabinet it belonged in. Or just standing so flat and so still between a wall and a door. Or behind a dresser that had just enough space behind it. Or under a bunk bed, pulling everything back into place under the bed behind oneself, careful to breathe quietly.

It sometimes took quite a long time to find each other. On occasion, we've even given up looking, and the hider came out when we all had our eyes closed, and they got to keep that hiding place.

Sometimes, like Adam, we hide from God. (Gen 3:8-10). Perhaps, like Adam and Eve, we hide out of shame, or perhaps there are other reasons. But God loves us and comes lovingly looking for us. And there's no where we can hide that He won't be right there with us. It's like God doesn't understand how hide-and-seek works... how you're supposed to let the little kids think they've got a fantastic spot and wait for them to pop out and scare you.

"Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you." (Psalm 139:7-12). 

But, do you know what I consider more wonderful than God always finding us? When we seek God, we'll always find Him. God, who created the whole universe, probably knows some pretty epic hiding places. But he doesn't use them. His goal isn't to be undiscovered, as in our little game, but to be found.

"You will seek me and you will find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the LORD." Jeremiah 29:13-14a.

And God decided that just being found by us wasn't enough. He ruined his best hiding places. He came right to us, right into this world, right into our hearts.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

When Business Gets in the Way

A couple weeks ago I had a meeting with one of the parents of a student, but they had to cancel last-minute due to a family emergency. I didn't get any details, just 'family emergency'.

And the next day, when they picked up their child, I asked when they thought we'd be able to reschedule.

About five seconds later I realized that wasn't the right question to ask. I should have asked how they were doing. I should have asked how I could pray for them. Instead, I was so focused on business, on getting things done that I thought were important.

***

Fast forward to this Wednesday when I left school before lunch feeling terrible and sick and altogether bleh. And Thursday morning, feeling better again, calling students to my desk to recite the week's memory verse.

"Do you know this week's memory verse?" I asked one boy.

"Yes," he said quietly without hesitation, "But I'm just glad you're back."

***

Sometimes, business can wait. Usually, actually.

People themselves are more important than whatever needs doing.

Spiritual Growth

Take a look at Moses in Exodus 3: 6

And he said, "I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob." And Moses hid his face, for he was afraid to look at God.

and 3:12-13

Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak." But he said, "Oh, my Lord, please send someone else."

Now look at Exodus 33:15, 18

And he said to him, "If your presence will not go with me, do not bring us up from here"... Moses said, "Please show me your glory."

And be inspired.

Why I Love Thunderstorms:

Photo of lightening over Magician Lake, in MI. Taken by Ruth Irons

In his old age, king David reflected on how God had rescued him time and time again, and he used the imagery of a thunderstorm to try to explain how God heard his prayers and came to save him, stopping at nothing.

 There are so many things I appreciate about this poem (while the whole passage is a favorite, I underlined parts that stick out to me), but I particularly appreciate how, now, every thunderstorm I experience is a reminder of God's concern, power, and determination to rescue me (us).

It's recorded both in 2 Samuel and in Psalms (with slight variations).
Below is the one from 2 Samuel. It's chapter 22 and verses 7-20 to be precise.

In my distress I called upon the LORD;

to my God I called. 

From his temple he heard my voice, 

and my cry came to his ears. 

Then the earth reeled and rocked;

the foundations of the heavens trembled

and quaked, because he was angry. 

Smoke went up from his nostrils, 

and devouring fire from his mouth;

glowing coals flamed forth from him. 

He bowed the heavens and came down;

thick darkness was under his feet. 

He rode on a cherub and flew;

he was seen on the wings of the wind. 

He made darkness around him his canopy, 

thick clouds, a gathering of water. 

Out of the brightness before him

coals of fire flamed forth. 

The LORD thundered from heaven,

and the Most High uttered his voice. 

And he sent out arrows and scattered them;

lightning, and routed them.

Then the channels of the sea were seen;

the foundations of the world were laid bare,

at the rebuke of the LORD, 

at the blast of the breath of his nostrils. 

He sent from on high, he took me;

he drew me out of many waters.

He rescued me from my strong enemy,

from those who hated me, 

for they were too mighty for me.

They confronted me in the day of my calamity,

but the LORD was my support.

He brought me out into a broad place;

he rescued me, because he delighted in me. 

Do as I Say

Am I a hypocrite?

I expect the second graders to not fidget and listen with focus to lessons and read all the directions all the time.

I talk to them about their disrespectful, prideful acceptance of rewards, and remind them that it's an issue of the heart. I speak to the ones who seemed to receive their awards respectfully and humbly and suggested they spend some time talking with God and making sure they were not hiding pride in their hearts or thinking they received that award out of their own strength.

I talk about prayer, and how wonderful and important and potent it is and realize as I'm getting ready for bed that I hadn't kept God at the forefront of my day, and I hadn't asked him how I should serve or act, and I hadn't maintained a conversation with him.

I don't sit still when I listen.

I skip the directions.

I don't examine the pride in my own heart.

But, just like the second graders, I'm learning.


Let's not judge works in progress.

Neighbors and Vines

Romans 12 says to let brotherly love be genuine.
Well, that's easy enough with my friends, isn't it? When I love the people that are easy to love and who love me back...
But God didn't leave it at 'let love be genuine'.
Nope.
God said to love our neighbors. Not the person living next door, but the person-- whoever they are-- who needs forgiveness, or who needs mercy or help.

Well, that narrows it down, doesn't it?

We're supposed to love everyone, then. And we're supposed to love them genuinely.
And that means sacrificial love.
Sacrificial love for people who, in our flesh, we might not really like.
But they are God's children, whether they acknowledge it or not, and God loves them.
And we're supposed to be the extension of that love.


Which is a good thing. A really, really good thing.
Because I can't sacrificially, genuinely love my friends all the time, much less people I find hard to love.
"Good news?" you say. Yes, good news.

Because if I'm the extension, I'm not the source.

He is the vine, I am the branches.
God is the source of that love, and in order for me to sacrificially, genuinely love My Neighbor I need to be tapped into him. Sacrificial, genuine love isn't easy. It takes energy and effort. And an act of God, literally.

God showed us how much he loved us. He did not decide to play it safe and enjoy heaven but to come to earth and live life with us. And let us kill him. He died for us, and in so doing saved us from ourselves and our inadequacies.

God died for you.

God loves you.

And now God wants you to share that love with Your Neighbor.
To share it with anyone who needs forgiveness, mercy or help.

And the only way you can do that is by staying connected to the source of all forgiveness, mercy, help and love-- God himself.

Let love be genuine.

Once, God had a Problem

Imagine a courtroom, it is huge and has dark beams showing in the walls, intricate vent covers and the judge sits behind a high, mahogany desk. Now add all the people (you may need to imagine a bigger room)- add people of all ages from all walks of life, all times in history and every country under the sun. Now add the stench of all those people, nervously waiting together.

You're in this courtroom, too. You are the defendant.

There's a bad taste in your mouth and your head seems to spin and your eyes can't focus. The judge has just given the verdict: guilty.

Penalty? Death.

You stumble out of your seat to take your place in line with all the others who have been found guilty. Your insides feel splintered, and you see the same brokenness in the faces around you. 

Imagine the Judge, God, looking around the massive room at all the people condemned to die, imagine the distraught look on his face, the pain, as he realizes the problem. He deeply loved everyone in that room, having breathed life into them himself. Not only that, he had a covenant with them. But they had each broken the law, at varying degrees, and must be condemned to death. And God's judgment was Just.

But God isn't only Just.

He fixes things. He overflows with loving-mercy.

So God created a plan where he himself would take the penalty for all those people, including you, a plan where he would die in their place, return to life, and invite them to live life with him, forever.

Once, God solved the problem.

I'm A Good Person

We tell the students to 'be nice', and remind them what we're learning in Bible class about being friends. Being kind, being loyal... acting like the Bible tells you to.

But that's not enough, is it?

Being a good person isn't enough. You- we- I still fall short of the glory of God and his righteous requirements.

Learning what the Bible says and obeying its Directions On Living is the beginning-- but it's not an end. It's not enough.

We need to obey, yes, but our heart has to be in the right place. Remember-- God looks at the heart, at your intentions. Are you being moral to please people? To make people stop lecturing you? Because you know it's right? Because being moral is good? Or, are you acting the way the Bible directs because you want to worship God and glorify him?

At some point you realize you can't do it on your own. You realize there are people that push your buttons, but you still have to be nice. There are times when you want to keep the whole slice of cake for yourself, but you know you should share it. There are times you want to complain or gossip or whine, yet you should still control your tongue.

LORD, have mercy.

Little-human-me isn't strong enough to make these selfless, sacrificial, God-honoring decisions moment after moment after moment. It's frustrating and infuriating and makes me feel like I'm burning out.

Hopefully you don't have to get to that point before you know what to do.

Pray. Ask God to help you, to continue to train you, to give you the guard over your mouth that you need and all the other fruit of the Spirit.

Not Like Playing Telephone

Jesus was born on earth. 

The angels told the shepherds, who went to see it for themselves. 

And once they saw Jesus they told everyone they could find. 

It wouldn't have meant as much if the shepherds heard what the angels said, and then went and told everyone. 

Jesus, in person, healed people and forgave their sins. 

Those people had encountered Jesus in a very real way. 

And once they saw Jesus they told everyone they could find. 

Sometimes Jesus even told them not to tell anyone, but did they listen? No, they went and told everyone. 

Jesus rose from the dead. 

The women ran and told the disciples, who ran to see it for themselves. 

Later, they saw the risen Jesus and they told everyone they could find. 

They didn't do this right away, granted, but once they were anointed with the Holy Spirit, no person, no authority, not even death could keep them from telling everyone. 

What about us? 

Sharing the gospel isn't like playing telephone. You can't just repeat what you think you've heard someone else say, and you don't have to. You can experience, firsthand, the grace, love and transformation of making Jesus Christ the Lord of your life. 

And if you do, don't keep it to yourselves. Be like the shepherds, the healed and forgiven, and the disciples. Go and tell everyone. 

How Seven-Year-Olds Pray

It's a breathtaking, head-shaking wonder when students become teachers. Even more so when they don't even realize it.

Every two weeks a new student gets the 'job' of praying before snack, lunch and at the end of the day. I am blown away when I hear the prayers of these second graders, and I've begun to learn how childlike praying looks.

When they share prayer requests and praise reports in the morning, it often turns into plain-old sharing. There isn't really a request or a praise involved, if you know what I mean. And honestly, at first it bothered me. I wanted to get on with the business of praying. And then one day I had an epiphany-- all too often in my own prayer life I am trying to do business, and not sitting with God and sharing life with him, like these little children do.

A few of the students pray scripture. Let me tell you, your heart does a sort of flip-flop when it hears a seven year old say, "God, please help us today to not turn to the right or to the left. Help us stay focused on our schoolwork, and on you, and to be kind to each other." Wow. They may not know many scriptures, but they make use of the ones they know. What if us knowledgeable, capable grownups took the word of God more seriously, like these little children do, and believed it to the point of praying it over ourselves, our coworkers, our friends?

They pray over things so small they seem inconsequential, and then turn around and pray about things that seem insurmountable. Both are examples of huge faith. They are signs of the little children acknowledging their dependance on God, their trust he hears them through Jesus, and their confidence in his character. They realize nothing is too small for God, nor to big. The catch is, as seven-year-olds, they haven't learned to be independent like the rest of us. They know nothing but dependance, and their prayers show it.

And the beautiful thing is, even us grownups can learn to pray like Little Children again.

"Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:4 (read the story here)

What prayers have you heard Little Children pray that amazed you?

Coping

I love words. I like combining them to voice thoughts and ideas, finding words with just the right sounds to fit the mood of the topic. Words are meaningful because they impart meaning. These shapes and symbols we have given meaning, sound and purpose to evoke a message and bring images to our minds and spur us to more thoughts of our own.

Words impact me.  When I read words, strung together by an author with craft and intentionality, I pause  in admiration at the skill and the effectiveness in relaying the thought. I keep them nearby to be reminded how someone else phrased something. I have them on my walls, and in binders, and saved in documents. I collect words, and quotes.

Mostly the quotes are about the Christian life. "The brutal, soul-shaking truth is that we are so earthly minded we are of no heavenly use." Leonard Ravenhill.

A good chunk of those quotes are on prayer. "The great souls who became mighty in prayer, and rejoiced to spend three and four hours alone with God, were once beginners." Samuel Chadwick

Several speak about the way life is. "Any idiot can face a crisis. It's the day to day living that wears you out." Chekov

Some are just amusing. "Small choice in rotten apples." Shakespeare (The Taming of the Shrew)

A few are about words themselves. "To find your own writing style, you have to understand and love language. You have to read, listen to, and obsess over words, syllables, vowels, phrases, short and long sentences, the timing of periods, and endless other details." Becky Broadway & Doug Hesse

Words take time. Time to find, use and rearrange. Time to read and soak up. Time to record and remember. You can't slop them together and expect them to resonate the same way. And how unfeeling to gloss over all the hard work of others.

So I collect quotes. And I write.

But I found Philippians 3:8-9 this week, and I'm having trouble coping.

"Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For this sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness form God that depends on faith."

Now, what am I supposed to do with that?

Count everything -- even literacy-- as loss because it's more worthy to spend my time getting to know Christ Jesus my Lord? Surrender the time spent reading and writing and obsessing over words to the more worthy cause of gaining Christ and being found in him?

(It's true that I'd survive just fine without reading. It's also true that the world doesn't need another book. It already has over 22 million.)

God, give me grace, because I don't know if I'm ready.

Nebulae

My mantra this semester:
-God's got this-

My screen saver is a slideshow of various nebulae. When I begin to feel overwhelmed or nervous I sit and watch the pictures change. See all the beauty. See God's handiwork. See the intricacy and care.

And I can take a deep breath and remember that the God who created the universe, that huge, awe-inspiring universe, created me. And this world. And he's got this. No need to worry.

What happens in my life doesn't surprise him. God can handle whatever happens in my life. And because I am God's, I can laugh at whatever dangers loom in the future, albeit the unknown. God's got this.

***

Nebulae:
Orion; Mystic Mountain;  Carina; S106; NGC 2060

Jesus Interposed His Precious Blood

Part of 'Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing', one of my favorite hymns

Here I raise my Ebeneezer,

Hither by Thy help I’ve come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood.

Oh, to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be;
Let that grace now like a fetter
Bind my wandering heart to Thee:
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it;
Prone to leave the God I love.
Here’s my heart, oh, take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

He is risen!

Bible Blurb

Ephesians 2:8-9

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - andthis not from yourselves, it is the gift of God- not by works so that no one can boast.