Fear

The Unknown frightens me.

And I'm face-face with it right now.

It isn't big and bold, glaring at me from every corner. No, it is slippery and smokey, hiding and creeping up.

'What to do' isn't what frightens me. God has given this summer purpose, and I've got a few clear ideas about 'what to do'. That isn't the part that has me checking the dark corners of my mind and turning around with a start.

'Will it be okay' is the part that keeps me on my tiptoes and puts a few butterflies in my stomach.

Will it be okay. I know God has promised to come through but something about it makes my heart beat faster. It's how I imagine I would feel in that moment before bungie jumping or sky diving. Not when your feet first leave the firm ground- I've already done that. I trusted God enough to jump into this, and I'm sure he'll catch me. But I can't seem to escape this feeling. Like that moment when gravity hungrily pulls you back to earth, and you wonder if this really was such a great idea while you feel like you're leaving your organs behind.

Will it be okay.

I will probably never have the courage to bungie jump or sky dive. But I don't need to.

Obeying God is plenty of an adventure.

And I know the bungie will stretch all the way out and pull me up again, the parachute will open, God will come through. 

My fear doesn't change that.