Of course, when I say 'I', I mean 'you'

When was the last time I sat and observed clouds grow, and shrink, expand, and move across the endless sky?
When was the last time I took a breath so deep I could smell the wind?
Have I ever tried to taste each flavor in my lunch? Each one.
Why don't I pause to... to notice anything? When did I become so caught up in just glazing through each day?

When was the last time I worked hard for the sake of working? Not because something needed to be done. But because hard, diligent work is rewarding. Because work is good.
When was the last time I looked at a tree or a carpet or an animal and tried to count the colors?
Have I ever listened to the patterned tick of a clock and marveled at Time and wondered who invented the concept of it and noticed how much happens in five minutes, and how little happens?
Why don't I search the crisp night sky for new constellations that no one thought of before?

Chores

Each day of the week has its designated chore.
For example, Monday is sweeping and taking out the trash, and Tuesday is laundry.
This works wonderfully when I actually take the time to do these things on their prescribed day, but all too often I mannage to run out of time and I end up cramming them all in on Friday or Saturday. Or, just waiting until next week to do it.

But not every daily activity should be considered a chore. I don't want my relationship with God to become a chore-- something I schedule and later try to catch up on. I want my relationship with God to be something I eagerly invest in because I love an value him.

The tricky part isn't in wanting such a relationship, but making it happen. And I've found that to keep relationships from becoming chores, I have to be intentional. When my intentionality slouches my devotions and prayer become a habit, become motions, become a chore. When I am intentional about exactly who I'm meeting with, everything changes. To keep my relationships from becoming chores I have to keep up with, I have to have the right attitude. 

Don't let your relationships with God or people become a chore. When you do, they aren't real relationships anymore.

Nebulae

My mantra this semester:
-God's got this-

My screen saver is a slideshow of various nebulae. When I begin to feel overwhelmed or nervous I sit and watch the pictures change. See all the beauty. See God's handiwork. See the intricacy and care.

And I can take a deep breath and remember that the God who created the universe, that huge, awe-inspiring universe, created me. And this world. And he's got this. No need to worry.

What happens in my life doesn't surprise him. God can handle whatever happens in my life. And because I am God's, I can laugh at whatever dangers loom in the future, albeit the unknown. God's got this.

***

Nebulae:
Orion; Mystic Mountain;  Carina; S106; NGC 2060

Fear

The Unknown frightens me.

And I'm face-face with it right now.

It isn't big and bold, glaring at me from every corner. No, it is slippery and smokey, hiding and creeping up.

'What to do' isn't what frightens me. God has given this summer purpose, and I've got a few clear ideas about 'what to do'. That isn't the part that has me checking the dark corners of my mind and turning around with a start.

'Will it be okay' is the part that keeps me on my tiptoes and puts a few butterflies in my stomach.

Will it be okay. I know God has promised to come through but something about it makes my heart beat faster. It's how I imagine I would feel in that moment before bungie jumping or sky diving. Not when your feet first leave the firm ground- I've already done that. I trusted God enough to jump into this, and I'm sure he'll catch me. But I can't seem to escape this feeling. Like that moment when gravity hungrily pulls you back to earth, and you wonder if this really was such a great idea while you feel like you're leaving your organs behind.

Will it be okay.

I will probably never have the courage to bungie jump or sky dive. But I don't need to.

Obeying God is plenty of an adventure.

And I know the bungie will stretch all the way out and pull me up again, the parachute will open, God will come through. 

My fear doesn't change that.